Families and Bonding Activities

Good Monday on this fall morning. Well, now that summer has passed us by, and we're back to the busy activities of the school year, I've been thinking about some of the best ways for families to connect in this ever-increasing hectic world of ours. I have three essential bonding activities that I would like to discuss.

In order for families to bond together and create the profound sense of security and belonging that a close family creates, it is important to spend time together. Researchers have told us that one of the primary determinants of the closeness of relationships is what is known as "proximity" - literally being physically close to one another. Parents and their children are no different. Indeed, becoming aware of the opportunities that life provides to "gather stones together" makes for a richer and deeper experience in the family, and provides times that all can work and learn together. Some of these times - and the benefits that thoughtful utilization of them can offer - are discussed below.

Chores
"Do you chores." If, like most of us, those words bring back memories of a childhood when chores were uniformly negative, then you must consciously choose to recreate the concept of daily tasks, transforming them into an opportunity for training your children in the skills they will need to become healthy adults. "Training" in this sense refers not only to teaching specific values and skills, but also to the interaction between the teacher and the student - the parent and the child. Doing chores provides children with a sense of responsibility and cooperation. Since all children are not equally skilled or self-confident in the way they approach household tasks, parents should be willing to work alongside their child to get chores done when it seems that the child is struggling.

One of the benefits of giving regular chores to children is that they create a natural structure in the home, and throughout the passage of the week. Knowing that certain tasks have to be done, and knowing when they are to be done (and why) teaches children much about the process of constructing our days in a positive and ordered manner. Also, doing chores teaches children that there are certain things in life that must be attended to before a reward is received. In this way, children learn to delay gratification while at the same time developing a healthy self-image that enables them to select and complete tasks with confidence, knowing that gratification will come after time.

What can parents do to help children get the most out of their chores? One of the most important things a parent can do is "pitch in" and help the child do the chore. Parental involvement should not be an excuse for our response to unwillingness of the child to work on daily tasks, but it can provide an opportunity to spend time together, to learn, to communicate, and to train the child in the basic requirements of life.

Next time, we'll discuss Homework as a bonding activity.

Have a blessed day.